Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi MBBS MPH MD DR(AM) FRIPH FIDPO FRCAM(Dublin) is Universally Acknowledged to be The World's Most Controversial Medical Doctor (Alive) ; and One of the Most Celebrated (Living) Alternative Medicine Practitioners of Our Modern Clinical Age.
Apart from that , He is (Additionally) a Formidable Power-Broker , a Firebrand Warrior , a Prolific Author and a Fearless Innovator.
* Experienced Clinician
* Expert Health Adviser
* Chief Wellness Officer
* Fully Licensed
* Comprehensively Insured.
* Exceedingly Thorough
* Highly Connected
* Advanced Therapy Courses
* Holistic Wellbeing Programmes
* Amazing Clinical Strategies.
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CASE STUDY :
'Student A' was a STAR CANDIDATE , in His Final Year of Medical School , when He Accidentally Enjoyed an Utterly Amazing Avalanche of Rampant Romantic Escapades ; with the Secret (Long Term) Girlfriend of One of His Top Clinical Professors.
Although the (Highly Accomplished) Faculty Professor was (Happily) Married with Lovely Kids , He Had (Hitherto) Seriously Depended on the Extremely Beautiful Girl , for (Emergency) Moral (and General Sexual) Support.
Since the (No-Nonsense) Professor had Formerly Served as (Honourable) Dean of the Faculty of Medicine , (Distinguished) Provost of the College of Health Sciences , (Renowned) Chief of Surgery , Revered (University) Deputy Vice Chancellor and (Hallowed) National Medical Council Board Chairman ; He was Ultimately a Very (Very) Powerful (Political) Clinical Figure (Indeed).
All of a Sudden , the (Hitherto Highly Intelligent) Male Medical Student mysteriously started Failing ALL of His Assessments , plus ALL of His Clinical Attachments , and ALL of His Medical School Exams.
His Poor Parents were Totally Distraught , since they had Already Mortgaged their Family Home , simply just to put Him through Medical School , and were (previously) Hoping that He would (rapidly) take over the Monthly (Bank Loan) Payments , as soon as He Graduated.
. . . But Worse Things were Still (Yet) to Come . . .
A Grand Meeting of Top Medical Doctors was Hastily Convened , and (in His Notable Absence) , it was Universally Decided that He was Not Fundamentally Suitable to Ethically Graduate as a Medical Doctor.
. . . So , Without Notice , They (Unceremoniously) Kicked Him Out of Medical School , (in Total Disgrace) , only few months before He was due to Formally Graduate as a Medical Doctor . . .
. . . Of Course , the (Rightfully Expensive) Top Lawyers , Senior Barristers and Eminent Solicitors then moved in (En Masse) , Loudly Quoting (Almost) Every Plausible Legal Statute on the Planet on the Student's Behalf ; but No Court (or Tribunal) could ever Overturn his Rustication . . .
A Few Years Later , while He was working as a (Part-Time) Pizza Delivery Guy , the Former Medical Student kindly stopped to Help a Tall Black Man ; whose (Outrageously Temperamental) Vintage Mercedes Car had suddenly decided to Go on Strike . . .
The (Ex) Medical Student smartly noticed a Few Healthcare Books in the Back of the Car , and so they both started Eagerly Chatting about General Health Topics ; until the Emergency Vehicle Recovery Services eventually arrived to Competently Tow the Classic Merc Automobile away , for Appropriate Mechanical Repairs.
After Exchanging Contact Details , the Pizza Delivery Guy went on his Way ; and the Tall Black Chap got a Taxi and Headed Off to his Pre-scheduled Appointment.
Throughout their Discussion , the Former Medical Student never ever even Mentioned Medical School at all : He simply presented himself as someone with an Insatiable Interest in Current Healthcare Issues.
Eight Months Later , I received an Utterly Disturbing Phone Call from an Excruciatingly Anxious Woman ; who was obviously at the Very End of Her (Human) Tether.
Her Only Son had just Attempted to Kill Himself , and She urgently wanted Someone to (Intensely) Talk to Him.
She claimed to have (Miraculously) found my Business Card in one of His Old Pizza (Courier) Jackets ; and , (After a Rather Quick Internet Search) , was Extremely Curious as to why He would Secretly have my Professional Card in His Pocket.
It Later Emerged that Her Most Precious (and Only) Son had just been Discharged from Casualty (ER) , as a Case of a Patient who was 'Crying for Help'.
. . . And Cry Out To Me (For Help) , He (Most Certainly) Did . . .
Apparently , Over the Previous 5 Years , His (Ageing) Parents had Unsuccessfully Tried to get Him into Every Medical School in the Country ; as a Final Year Student.
Every Time , At the Very Last Minute , His Nemesis (The Super Professor) would Brutally Sabotage Everything , and (Decisively) Block His Efforts.
His Poor Parents were Now Destitute (because of Him) , and that was why He sometimes (Half-Heartedly) wanted to End It All.
When He had Finished , I Reciprocally Told Him about My Very Own Life Story.
At the End of the Talk , He Firmly Realized that there was Still a Glimmer of Hope , Somewhere Out There ; for Him.
I Constantly Mentored Him , over the Phone , for the Next 3 Months
After That , I frequently sent Him a Few (Current) Medical Books Every (Blessed) Week , to gradually get Him back on Track.
When the Time was (Absolutely) Right , I Comprehensively Assessed His (Professional) Clinical Skills ; and then (Carefully) Gave Him (and His Parents) Some Very Bad News (Indeed).
The Bad News was that I , the Amazing Professor Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi , had Woefully (and Spectacularly) Failed to find any Accredited Medical School on Earth which was Unreservedly Prepared to Accept Him Back into their Final (Graduating) Year.
BUT I DID , HOWEVER , (PATHETICALLY) MANAGE TO CRAFTILY CALL IN A FEW FAVOURS , from Some (Long Lost) Friends of Mine ; who were Perfectly (and Gallantly) Willing to IMMEDIATELY Accept Him directly into their Penultimate Clinical Year (Instead).
. . . HIS (LONG-SUFFERING) PARENTS ALMOST FAINTED (OUT OF JOYFUL DISBELIEF) . . .
. . . Today , He is a Fully Qualified (and Fully Licensed) Medical Doctor ; who , sometime in the Year 2017 , (Proudly) Purchased a Tiny , Little , (Semi-Dilapidated) , Maisonette Apartment for His (Absolutely Fabulous) Parents . . .
. . . Alas , Sadly , The Pretty Young Girl , (Above) , Eventually Dumped the Top Medical Professor , plus All the Rest of Those who somehow happened to (Luckily) Find Themselves on Her Very Long List of (Utterly Besotted) Medical School Boyfriends.
She is now the Permanent 'Side-Piece' of a Very , Very , Wealthy Russian Oligarch . . .
. . . Unsurprisingly , The Emeritus Super Professor has Still Not Forgiven Me to Date ; and (Most Probably) Never (Ever) Will . . .
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Alternative Medicine Definition | The Gospel According To Professor Obi | What Does Alternative Medicine (Actually and Ultimately) Mean ?
" . . . Alternative Medicine is : Every Available (Art-Based or Science-Based or Religious or Hybrid) Approach to either Medicine , Therapy , Research , Care , Regulation , Faith , Spirituality , Learning , Health , Healing , Wellness , Prevention , Detection , Promotion and Wellbeing etc , (whether Holistic or Focused or Standalone or Supportive or Native or Traditional or Otherwise) , which does not Decisively (or Solidly) Fall within the Any of the Fundamental Professional Realms of either Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Medicine or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Advice or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Treatment or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Health or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Care or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Detection or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Diagnosis or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Prevention or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Promotion or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Therapy or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Research or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Regulation or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Evidence or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Learning (et cetera , et cetera , et cetera) . . ."