Just because your vision is idealistic doesn't make it unrealistic. I would talk to friends and get some really good feedback from them on what they see as your strengths (and weaknesses if you can stomach it), also pay attention to what strangers say about your strengths. I would take a myers briggs if you haven't yet and buy strengths finder 2.0 and get ideas from those areas to see what comes up and how it resonates with you. These results aren't set in stone (they don't DEFINE you), but they can be insightful and help you to understand how to line up your strengths with a gig that you would enjoy dedicating work/ energy into.

Finding something may take some time, but remember that this is a process and so is life. I would look at this journey as a big experiment with a bunch of smaller experiments along the way. You make a hypothesis, set up a test, gather data, you then learn, rinse and repeat.

Also, check this video out:
The key to transforming yourself -- Robert Greene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLt_yDvdeLQ