Loading...
Answers
MenuWhat are some strategies for removing toxic people out of your life? What if they are your own family?
This question has no further details.
Answers
I recommend a cleanse. It should not be a knee jerk reaction, but should be calm and calculated.
There is a wonderful blog post about this at
http://realitywithrashell.blogspot.ca/2009/05/life-enema-try-it-youll-like-it.html
I have lots of experience with this. I try to practice detaching with love. I don't think anyone is inherently toxic. In my experience most relationships that reach "toxic" levels are because there are unspoken expectations that the other party feels guilty about not meeting which creates a dynamic of resentment and obligation. If I draw clear boundaries, stick to them and am 100% honest about what is and isn't working for me in the relationship / situation, the "toxins" dissipate. Often times there is strong reaction to boundaries (esp with family) that may create a distance but ultimately if you keep the focus on yourself and act with integrity, you've done all that you can. All relationships are 50/50 and sometimes we don't have a choice on who we engage with. We don't all have the same goals and intentions so exposing that can be freeing.
Alternatively, if you are interested in "removing" them, it's always an option. If I nourish the relationships that move me fwd and put less energy into the ones that don't work for me or am honest about why they aren't working, they either adapt or fade away.
This book Crucial Accountability http://amzn.to/1nwYG2C might help too. They also wrote a book Crucial Conversations. Hope that helps, happy to chat more if you need more specific advice.
When talking to people like that make sure you keep it straight forward when telling them off do not beat around the bush and do not listen to what they have to say some of them are good at playing victim and if you are a person with a good heart you feel guilty they can see it as an opportunity to use you
Removing toxic people from your life, including family members, can be challenging but is often necessary for your well-being. Here are some strategies to consider:
1. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behavior you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries firmly and consistently.
2. Limit Interaction: Gradually reduce the amount of time you spend with the toxic person. This might mean limiting phone calls, visits, or other forms of communication.
3. Seek Support: Talk to friends, a mentor, or a therapist who can offer support and guidance. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help clarify the situation and provide strength.
4. Stay Calm and Assertive: When interacting with the toxic person, remain calm and assertive. Avoid engaging in arguments or letting them provoke an emotional response from you.
5. Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, and spend time with people who uplift and support you.
6. Consider a Gradual Disengagement: In some cases, cutting ties abruptly may not be feasible. A gradual reduction in contact can help ease the transition for both parties.
7. Prepare for Backlash: Be ready for potential negative reactions. Toxic individuals often resist change and may try to manipulate or guilt you into maintaining the relationship.
8. Legal Boundaries: If the situation involves harassment or abuse, don’t hesitate to seek legal advice or protection.
9. Reevaluate Regularly: Assess the impact of the toxic person on your life periodically. Adjust your strategies as needed to ensure your continued well-being.
10. Acceptance and Forgiveness: Accept that some relationships may never be healthy and forgive yourself for making the decision to distance yourself. This can help in letting go of any residual guilt or negative emotions.
It’s important to remember that prioritizing your mental and emotional health is not selfish, and it’s okay to distance yourself from relationships that are detrimental to your well-being.
Dealing with toxic people, especially if they are family members, can be challenging. Here are some strategies to consider when trying to remove toxic influences from your life:
1. **Set Boundaries**: Clearly communicate your boundaries and what behavior you will not tolerate. Be firm and consistent in upholding these boundaries.
2. **Limit Contact**: If possible, reduce the amount of time you spend with toxic family members. This can help minimize their negative impact on your life.
3. **Seek Support**: Talk to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friends about your situation. Having a support system can help you navigate difficult emotions and decisions.
4. **Focus on Yourself**: Prioritize your well-being and mental health. Practice self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and focus on your personal growth.
5. **Consider Family Therapy**: If the toxic behavior is deeply ingrained within the family dynamic, family therapy can be a helpful way to address issues and work towards healthier relationships.
6. **Evaluate the Relationship**: Consider whether the relationship is worth maintaining. Sometimes, cutting ties with toxic family members may be the healthiest choice for your well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your own mental and emotional health when dealing with toxic relationships, even if they involve family members. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and distance yourself from harmful influences.
detoxify
with mouthwash
or bathe with baking soda
run and run as quickly as possible
the world is so big, stay away from
the strange-eg social deviant
abusive
anger easy
depress all the time
very dependent
The first strategy is to acknowledge that no family is perfect. No matter how Leave It To Beaver or The Cosby Show a family looks on the outside, there are always conflicts, differences, rivalries, competitions, comparisons and yes, past stucknesses that are common. If you understand it, it gives you a different perspective on your own.
Secondly, I would suggest to you is to look within. When a good friend of mine perceived an intensity around something with a family member that was disproportionate, she asked me, "What pain/memory inside of you has Life come to heal?" What is unresolved inside of you that this family member is stirring up? Are you holding on to something you need to let go? A memory. A feeling. An event. What is it?
And please understand, it might be an ideal that you are holding on to. Taking a page from my own life, my dad taught us girls to stick together no matter what. However, some of the choices that we made made it impossible. The discomfort that we experienced was when one or all of us kept trying to uphold my dad's belief and force the other siblings to do the same. When I surrendered the need for things to be different--which really is the definition for forgiveness--I could choose who to be around and when. When I surrendered the need for my sister(s) to be different, I took better care of my emotional health - putting it first - and chose not to go to certain family events or, if I did, limit my exposure to them. This removed me emotionally making it impossible for toxicity to find a reservoir.
Lastly, I cultivated an open and willing spirit so that, should a change of heart happen in my sister(s), I would welcome them without trepidation. The key here however is change of heart. If someone is stuck in a reality of you that makes it impossible for them to see you beyond it, there is no reconciliation.
These are the strategies and insight I offer to you. If you need more help, I provide relationship coaching as part of my life coaching suite of services and would be happy to be of further assistance.
Same as you would anyone else, just stop interacting with them. If they ask why, let them know what they did, how you feel, and that they need to respect your boundaries. Also be okay with not having these people in your life after those conversations. People tend to become very defensive so prepare yourself to be okay with actually severing the relationships. If you’re not okay with that, then you’ll have to learn to set boundaries, and accept people for who they are, and learn to not let them affect you! Your power lies in your response. Good luck friend! 🐾
its coz GOD made you ,for them, you the great at what you do, and for the toxic everything, talks, undermining, thinking you not perfect, relating with them, you doing most of the things... like food ,snacks and all but latter you find you the one doing the most... it mainly becoz in every home one happens to be the rightful chosen ,for his skills will lighten others to change their moods, discover themselves... thats why you find them irritating, annoying... it becoz one you intimidate them ,and less you make them feel less of themselves as you are more active than???
Removing toxic people from your life, especially if they are family members, can be challenging but necessary for your well-being. Here are some strategies to help navigate this difficult process:
### 1. **Set Boundaries**
- **Clearly Define Limits**: Decide what behaviors you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries firmly and respectfully.
- **Enforce Boundaries**: Stick to your boundaries even if it’s uncomfortable. Consistency is key to maintaining your well-being.
### 2. **Limit Contact**
- **Gradual Reduction**: Start by reducing the amount of time you spend with them.
- **Controlled Interactions**: Meet in neutral, less personal spaces where it’s easier to leave if things become uncomfortable.
### 3. **Seek Support**
- **Talk to Trusted Friends or Therapists**: Getting an outside perspective can help you navigate your feelings and decisions.
- **Support Groups**: Joining a group of people dealing with similar issues can provide community and validation.
### 4. **Practice Self-Care**
- **Prioritize Your Well-Being**: Engage in activities that promote your mental and physical health.
- **Mindfulness and Stress Reduction**: Techniques like meditation and yoga can help you stay centered.
### 5. **Communicate Clearly**
- **Express Your Feelings**: When appropriate, share your feelings honestly with the toxic person. Sometimes they might not be aware of their impact.
- **Use “I” Statements**: Frame your statements around your feelings and experiences to avoid sounding accusatory.
### 6. **Accept Reality**
- **Acknowledge Their Behavior**: Understand that you cannot change them; you can only control your response.
- **Let Go of Guilt**: Realize that it’s okay to prioritize your health and happiness, even if it means distancing from family.
### 7. **Create a Safety Plan**
- **Plan Your Exit Strategy**: If you live with the toxic person, have a plan in place for moving out or finding a safe space.
- **Emergency Contacts**: Have a list of people you can reach out to in case of an emergency.
### 8. **Consider Professional Help**
- **Family Therapy**: If the toxic person is open to it, family therapy might help improve the relationship.
- **Legal Advice**: In extreme cases, such as abuse, seek legal advice for protection and safety.
### 9. **Reflect and Reassess**
- **Continuous Evaluation**: Regularly assess the impact of the relationship on your life and make adjustments as needed.
- **Growth and Healing**: Focus on your personal growth and healing from the effects of the toxic relationship.
Remember, removing toxic people, especially family, is a deeply personal decision and varies for each individual. Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being throughout this process.
We all reach a point where we need to cut ties with someone once loved, often due to their toxicity. Relationships, whether romantic, friendly, or otherwise, should positively impact our lives, but sometimes they don't. Toxic individuals can harm our inner peace and self-esteem, often hiding in our closest circles. Identifying toxic people is crucial for personal growth. These individuals thrive on drama, are self-centered, frequently lie, insist on being right, rarely have kind words for others, possess a mean disposition, and see themselves as perpetual victims. Their behaviors stem from a desire to control and a lack of empathy, often rooted in childhood experiences.
Toxic relationships can be especially challenging when they involve family due to deep-seated loyalty and love. However, personal growth sometimes requires outgrowing these ties. Acceptance is the first step in dealing with toxic people. Understanding that they rarely change helps us move forward. Signs that it's time to walk away include emotional or physical abuse, constant criticism, lying, and emotional neglect. To let go, one should not wait for an apology, accept it's okay to leave, focus on healthy relationships, phase out contact, stop making excuses, let go of fantasies, make final encounters brief, write a letter, set a deadline, and allow oneself to be heartbroken.
Ultimately, pursuing personal growth and self-respect means letting go of those who diminish our light. It is a difficult but essential skill for survival and happiness. Moving on is easier said than done, but it’s necessary to cultivate the change in our lives we need to grow. Accepting your worth will make it easier to walk away from toxic people, but there’s no “one-size-fits-all” solution when it comes to cutting ties with the people that drag us down. Remember, no relationship is worth destroying and diminishing the light that shines within us. Know how to walk away when the time is right.
It is a pity especially when you have toxic people in your family. But you can learn how to protect yourself. Family is a bigger challenge. But the strategies are the same, in the family or at your workplace. You need to keep your energy and not let them suck your energy. You can train that.
Removing toxic people from your life, especially when they're family, is tough but necessary for your well-being. Start by setting clear boundaries and gradually reducing contact to protect yourself from their harmful behavior. Lean on supportive friends or a counselor for guidance, and most importantly, take time for self-care.
Remember, prioritizing your mental and emotional health doesn't mean cutting ties forever; it's about creating space to heal and possibly reconnect IF there's positive change.
As someone without the best family life, I feel like I may be able to help out here. My way of going about dealing with toxic people is to let them know it. Blocking them out of your social cue isn’t going to stop them or help you (at least in my opinion.) I personally tell them face to face what is bothering me and if they keep doing it, I let them know what will happen. I had to tell my own grandmother that if I left her house in bad terms, we wouldn’t speak again. With that being said, I’m about to move out and cut contract. Sometimes it’s easiest to just get it over with. I hope this helps!
Honestly and most importantly, effectively removing toxic people out of your life is difficult. But not if you are doing it correctly.
First scout your problem. Why is this person toxic?
Brainstorm: What is the best way to distance myself?
Put into action: have a plan and make it happen. No looking back and no regrets.
Lastly, if its family you should alert others and make sure you are in the right lane, and if you are making the right choice by removing them out of your life. Then here are the steps you take.
Step one: block on all social media and phone numbers.
Step two: alert family that you are not going to associate with said person anymore.
Step three: keep your foot down. Don't accept a shabby apology and forgive instantly.
Lastly, you can forgive, but never forget what said person put you through with theirs actions, and or words
This is all speaking with experience with cutting off family members. And remember, family is just a title for some people and can be removed very easily.
PUTTING BOUNDARIES! It is a first rule.
It might be hard at first due to resistance from your family side or feom yours but you should stick to that option.
Because once boundaries are set, you are more lucky in getting out for the toxic environment eaisily.
If not, the other person will always requestion attention even if she is toxic to not only to the environment but to your psychological health.
It is simple, you wake up in the morning. your beloved say to you Goodmorning handsome/beautiful here’s your cup of coffee, you will feel safe and happy and your journey will continue in a positive way.
The other option, you wake up, your phone ring. You pick: hello, it is the bank, we are still waiting for your loan payment.=> you will pass a very unhappy and frustrated journey even your performance at work is very low, you are tired, you are thinking about all negativity at a. Certain point you feel headache.
That’s why boundaries are good, we all have ups and downs. But we should put boundaries when it comes to our mental, physical and psychological health
As a simple advice, when you wake up in the morning, firat thing you should do is washing your face, putting your clothes and heading to the office not consulting your phone and then heading to wash your face.
Keep our brains fresh and healthy.
A strategy i used was to distance myself. I cut contact to take care of myself and my mentality. Even when they would ask me why i wouldnt talk to them, i would be straight up and tell them exactly why. One of the most important things is to make sure they know what they did wrong, which helps them realise that they can either let you go, or they can take the steps to change themselves.
Related Questions
-
How was SnapChat able to grow so quickly?
I'm answering your question assuming that you hope to be able to replicate it's own success in your own mobile app. There are a couple of factors responsible for it's growth that are instructive to anyone building a mobile app. "Leveraging the intimacy and privacy of the mobile phone." We now have an *intimate* relationship with our phone like no other device in the history of technology. Every internet company that started before around 2010 has built their core interactions around "the old web" one which was accessed primarily via a browser on a computer. Companies that start with a clean slate, should be building their interactions around how to do whatever the app is supposed to do while leveraging what is unique to people's relationship to their mobile devices. Photo-sharing has become a core part of the way we communicate now. Snapchat built something that provided an experience that leveraged the feeling of privacy and intimacy that is unique to mobile. "Provided an escape from the "maturity" of other online services." Too many parents, aunts, uncles and other "old people" have encroached into the social networks of teens and young people. As a result, they've had a desire to find places to express themselves in places inaccessible by older generations. An important distinction is that it's not just parents and relatives that young people are trying to avoid, but also employers & colleges who are increasingly using "mature" social networks to review applicants. "Leveraged PR even bad PR" The fact that the app got so much press about it being used to sext was perfect PR for the company, as it essentially reinforced the brand experience that it has today. Essentially, "if it's safe enough to send a sext, it's safe for any kind of communication I want to have." And although the safety and security of Snapchat is actually not as advertised, it still enjoys the reputation of having less impact than any primarily web-based service. Building a successful mobile application is one of the hardest challenges to face designers, programmers and entrepreneurs in the history of writing software. Happy to talk to you if you're considering building a mobile app, about what I've learned about the "table stakes" for success.TW
-
How can I smoothly transition from full time worker to self-employment?
The ways I've done this in the past are 1) Find some customers that are willing to hire you (or your product) but know that you'll only be free nights & weekends to support/work with them. 2) Find a "partner" (co-founder or other) that's got a flexible schedule that can help build the business while you're at work. 3) Block out nights, mornings and weekends to build the business till you have enough orders to cover 50% of your salary. This might mean 7pm-11pm most nights, and 4 hours each day Sat & Sun. Make progress (sales $$$) and momentum. All that being said, it's risk reward. Sounds like you want to avoid taken the risk, and I get that .. but the upside is always smaller. Unless you put yourself in a position to have to succeed (ex: quitting your job) then you may never make the scary decisions that are required to build a company (like cold calling, going in debt, making a presentation, etc). I'm on company #5 with many other side projects started nights & weekends .. so I get it - but don't be afraid to bet on yourself and go all in.DM
-
My startup just failed. What could I start to "immediately" generate $1,000/mo?
The quickest path to cash is almost always consulting. Be very specific about what it is you can offer. Don't just offer "business consulting". Find a niche and serve it. Reach out to your network, including friends and family and ask if they need or know of anyone who might want to hear about what your consulting has to offer. That will be way faster than trying to go at it from scratch or cold calling. If you call 100 people in your network this week, you will have a consulting gig within 3 weeks. Good luck, and let me know if you'd like advice on entering a digital marketing/lead generation consulting niche. I've grown from zero to $8,000 of monthly recurring payments in the last 40 days! DaveDR
-
How do you make money to survive while you are building a business? What are some quick ways to make money with less time commitment?
I love this question. If you have to work on the side while building your business, I recommend doing something you absolutely hate. That keeps you hungry to succeed on your own. You'll also typically save your energy for the evenings and weekends where you'll want it for your business. Don't expect to make much money at your "other job" but you can work it to pay the bills while you build your business. This approach also forces you to build incrementally, and it keeps you frugal. This is not necessarily ideal. Having a bunch of money set aside sounds nice and luxurious, but not having the resources puts you in a position where you have to figure it out to survive. I love that. I started my business eight years ago on $150 and today we do a million a year. Don't wait until you have the resources to start safely. Dive in however you can. And avoid shortcuts. Don't waste your time scheming to make bigger money on the side. Do something honest to live on and create a business that drives value.CM
-
How much equity should I ask as a CMO in a startup?
Greater risk = greater equity. How likely is this to fail or just break even? If you aren't receiving salary yet are among 4-6 non-founders with equivalent sweat investment, all of whom are lower on the totem pole than the two founders, figure out: 1) Taking into account all likely outcomes, what is the most likely outcome in terms of exit? (ex: $10MM.) Keep in mind that 90%+ of all tech startups fail (Allmand Law study), and of those that succeed 88% of M&A deals are under $100MM. Startups that exit at $1B+ are so rare they are called "unicorns"... so don't count on that, no matter how exciting it feels right now. 2) Figure out what 1% equity would give you in terms of payout for the most likely exit. For example, a $10MM exit would give you $100k for every 1% you own. 3) Decide what the chance is that the startup will fail / go bankrupt / get stuck at a $1MM business with no exit in sight. (According to Allman Law's study, 10% stay in business - and far fewer than that actually exit). 4) Multiply the % chance of success by the likely outcome if successful. Now each 1% of equity is worth $10k. You could get lucky and have it be worth millions, or it could be worth nothing. (With the hypothetical numbers I'm giving here, including the odds, you are working for $10k per 1% equity received if the most likely exit is $10MM and the % chance of failure is 90%.) 5) Come up with a vesting path. Commit to one year, get X equity at the end. If you were salaried, the path would be more like 4 years, but since it's free you deserve instant equity as long as you follow through for a reasonable period of time. 6) Assuming you get agreement in writing from the founders, what amount of $ would you take in exchange for 12 months of free work? Now multiply that by 2 to factor in the fact that the payout would be far down the road, and that there is risk. 7) What percentage share of equity would you need in order to equal that payout on exit? 8) Multiply that number by 2-3x to account for likely dilution over time. 9) If the founders aren't willing to give you that much equity in writing, then it's time to move on! If they are, then decide whether you're willing to take the risk in exchange for potentially big rewards (and of course, potentially empty pockets). It's a fascinating topic with a lot of speculation involved, so if you want to discuss in depth, set up a call with me on Clarity. Hope that helps!RD
the startups.com platform
Copyright © 2025 Startups.com. All rights reserved.