Ouch. This is certainly a painful situation you are in. I think Peter may be on to something here, and that is that you are at the core of what is happening. Ok, so that was the bad news. The good news (there is a lot of good news, in fact) is that:
- You are not a unique case. This happens to a lot of startups, companies and other organizations. It happens everywhere because the truth is that most leaders do not know how to lead properly. Trust me, I hack into leaders' lives for a living, and this is everywhere.
- This is not your fault. Sadly, when you were at University or at any job prior to this, you did not get any training on leadership, communication, emotional intel, management, etc...
- There is help! There are books ("Good to Great" by Jim Collins is a good start), talks, trainings, workshops, groups you can join, and individual coaching you can get in order to learn these skills that you never learned to actually lead a group of human beings. Yes, leadership is a skill, an art and a science sometimes.
- You (and only you) have the power to turn that ship around. And it can be done rather quickly. I've seen miracles. IF, and only if, you are willing to get to work on leading your people powerfully. It will be the most intense work you've ever done, but it is worth it.
There you have it, plenty of good news for you to get started. Go, get the support you need, and go be the leader your people need you to be. It's not a nice gesture to do. It's your responsibility and you owe it to them. And to yourself.