Question
I'm writing to let you know about my concerns about recent communication difficulties with my father.
As he's aged, my dad has become increasingly distant and hostile. Despite my efforts to connect, he refuses my calls and accuses me of being a "web hacker". When I tried to speak with our mother recently, he responded with hurtful cursing.
I care deeply about my parents, but my dad's behavior has left me hurt and unsure of what to do next. Any advice or support you could offer would be greatly appreciated.
Answer
Here's a last resort solution (NOT TOO RECOMMENDED):
Sometimes being calm and rational doesnt work so I'd be somewhat hurtful as my last resort (not physically violent of course). Since it seems like he's not willing to talk properly, I'd go there to yell at him to say that you want to have a conversation like adults instead of acting like that. Your dad and your feelings are completely valid but you gotta do what you gotta do since you can't talk calmly to a yelling person from my experience. Normally when I tell sometime to talk calmy like an adult, it causes them to pause and think about their (usually) immature actions. I use this time to ask why they're doing what they're doing. I recommend you to ask why he's accusing you of being a "website hacker" and why he's behaving that way towards you.
So if you don't want to read all of that, here's a short summary:
-Don't argue against a yelling person by calmly speaking because chances are, they don't hear your side of the story.
-Be straightforward.
-Don't be afraid to yell a bit because your feelings matter too.
-Communicate clearly
-Ask why he's treating you like that.
Here's a note:
-Sometimes relationships aren't salvageable so if nothing works then DO NOT blame yourself.
-You deserve to be heard.
-Your feelings and your dad's feelings are valid.
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