Hi Jill,
I am somewhat drawn to your question because of my own experience.
Seems to me that you are the type of person who wants to raise your son as a hard working man. The type of man who doesn't take shortcuts. And that's it, tell him exactly that.
Depending on how old he is, your first instinct might be to reprimand him and tell him that he is wrong. Rather, ask him questions that make him think about his choice of action. Questions that lead him to know what the repercussions of his actions are. Not only now, but in the near future too.
Take some time out to sit with him tell him what resonates with you:
1. I know and trust you, and this feels like it is not you
2. Whatever effort you put into something, shows you exactly what you are made of, and how you can get better.
I know that these are examples of what you may stand for.
Your son needs to trust that his efforts are good enough and that if they don't meet his expectations, he can learn how to do things in a way that gets him his desired results and still remain true to himself and his values.
Scope out some great tutorials even on YouTube that teach him how to concentrate or study, in a way that suits him and his interests. Remember, everything is much easier now.
You can scope out some videos for yourself as well, that give you tips on how to support him and boost his self confidence. Your goal is to be the support structure that ensures that he believes in himself and his ability to work towards himself.
If this sounds like the route you would like to take with him, please do reach out to me for a call.
Just communicate the truth. Eventually he will heed to the message or be prepared for the consequences. Education institutions are clear on their policies and they are stated in handbooks, syallbi, etc. Communicate and support his decision and keep your conscious clear.
As an English teacher with over 20 years of experience, this is an issue I deal with on an almost daily basis.
First of all, "life lesson" aside (I'll address that next), it will take a teacher about 10 seconds to spot an essay he didn't write. He will get caught, and he will fail. A student's writing style is as unique as their handwriting. If the teacher is on top of her game, that's all the proof she will need. There's also the option to type all of a part of the essay into Google. If he thinks he's the only person that essay went to, he's wrong!
The takeaway from this is simple, but he may not realize it or even care at this age. It hit me when I got to college. The bottom line, he's cheating himself out of an education. That essay was given to him for a reason. No teacher is going to hand out work to students just because they want to grade! There is a skill he was to gain from the assignment, and now he doesn't have it. He is essentially starting his life in college at a deficit.
I hope this information was helpful. If I can do a follow-up for either of you, please reach out.
Thanks.
