This isn't what I normally do for clients ... at all.

But I write Excel formulas and custom-code databases every day and have a solid background in statistics.

Sounds like what you're asking could be done in an hour using Excel ... and in such a way that you'd be able to enter future data in the spreadsheet on your own and have it analyzed automatically.

Maybe software exists. Maybe you can hire someone on Fiverr. But if neither of those options works for you and you're willing to overpay someone overqualified for the task, I suppose I could set it up. Might be a nice break from real work!