I have lots of experience with this. I try to practice detaching with love. I don't think anyone is inherently toxic. In my experience most relationships that reach "toxic" levels are because there are unspoken expectations that the other party feels guilty about not meeting which creates a dynamic of resentment and obligation. If I draw clear boundaries, stick to them and am 100% honest about what is and isn't working for me in the relationship / situation, the "toxins" dissipate. Often times there is strong reaction to boundaries (esp with family) that may create a distance but ultimately if you keep the focus on yourself and act with integrity, you've done all that you can. All relationships are 50/50 and sometimes we don't have a choice on who we engage with. We don't all have the same goals and intentions so exposing that can be freeing.
Alternatively, if you are interested in "removing" them, it's always an option. If I nourish the relationships that move me fwd and put less energy into the ones that don't work for me or am honest about why they aren't working, they either adapt or fade away.
This book Crucial Accountability http://amzn.to/1nwYG2C might help too. They also wrote a book Crucial Conversations. Hope that helps, happy to chat more if you need more specific advice.
When talking to people like that make sure you keep it straight forward when telling them off do not beat around the bush and do not listen to what they have to say some of them are good at playing victim and if you are a person with a good heart you feel guilty they can see it as an opportunity to use you
Removing toxic people from your life, including family members, can be challenging but is often necessary for your well-being. Here are some strategies to consider:
1. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behavior you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries firmly and consistently.
2. Limit Interaction: Gradually reduce the amount of time you spend with the toxic person. This might mean limiting phone calls, visits, or other forms of communication.
3. Seek Support: Talk to friends, a mentor, or a therapist who can offer support and guidance. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help clarify the situation and provide strength.
4. Stay Calm and Assertive: When interacting with the toxic person, remain calm and assertive. Avoid engaging in arguments or letting them provoke an emotional response from you.
5. Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, and spend time with people who uplift and support you.
6. Consider a Gradual Disengagement: In some cases, cutting ties abruptly may not be feasible. A gradual reduction in contact can help ease the transition for both parties.
7. Prepare for Backlash: Be ready for potential negative reactions. Toxic individuals often resist change and may try to manipulate or guilt you into maintaining the relationship.
8. Legal Boundaries: If the situation involves harassment or abuse, don’t hesitate to seek legal advice or protection.
9. Reevaluate Regularly: Assess the impact of the toxic person on your life periodically. Adjust your strategies as needed to ensure your continued well-being.
10. Acceptance and Forgiveness: Accept that some relationships may never be healthy and forgive yourself for making the decision to distance yourself. This can help in letting go of any residual guilt or negative emotions.
It’s important to remember that prioritizing your mental and emotional health is not selfish, and it’s okay to distance yourself from relationships that are detrimental to your well-being.
Dealing with toxic people, especially if they are family members, can be challenging. Here are some strategies to consider when trying to remove toxic influences from your life:
1. **Set Boundaries**: Clearly communicate your boundaries and what behavior you will not tolerate. Be firm and consistent in upholding these boundaries.
2. **Limit Contact**: If possible, reduce the amount of time you spend with toxic family members. This can help minimize their negative impact on your life.
3. **Seek Support**: Talk to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friends about your situation. Having a support system can help you navigate difficult emotions and decisions.
4. **Focus on Yourself**: Prioritize your well-being and mental health. Practice self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and focus on your personal growth.
5. **Consider Family Therapy**: If the toxic behavior is deeply ingrained within the family dynamic, family therapy can be a helpful way to address issues and work towards healthier relationships.
6. **Evaluate the Relationship**: Consider whether the relationship is worth maintaining. Sometimes, cutting ties with toxic family members may be the healthiest choice for your well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your own mental and emotional health when dealing with toxic relationships, even if they involve family members. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and distance yourself from harmful influences.
detoxify
with mouthwash
or bathe with baking soda
run and run as quickly as possible
the world is so big, stay away from
the strange-eg social deviant
abusive
anger easy
depress all the time
very dependent
The first strategy is to acknowledge that no family is perfect. No matter how Leave It To Beaver or The Cosby Show a family looks on the outside, there are always conflicts, differences, rivalries, competitions, comparisons and yes, past stucknesses that are common. If you understand it, it gives you a different perspective on your own.
Secondly, I would suggest to you is to look within. When a good friend of mine perceived an intensity around something with a family member that was disproportionate, she asked me, "What pain/memory inside of you has Life come to heal?" What is unresolved inside of you that this family member is stirring up? Are you holding on to something you need to let go? A memory. A feeling. An event. What is it?
And please understand, it might be an ideal that you are holding on to. Taking a page from my own life, my dad taught us girls to stick together no matter what. However, some of the choices that we made made it impossible. The discomfort that we experienced was when one or all of us kept trying to uphold my dad's belief and force the other siblings to do the same. When I surrendered the need for things to be different--which really is the definition for forgiveness--I could choose who to be around and when. When I surrendered the need for my sister(s) to be different, I took better care of my emotional health - putting it first - and chose not to go to certain family events or, if I did, limit my exposure to them. This removed me emotionally making it impossible for toxicity to find a reservoir.
Lastly, I cultivated an open and willing spirit so that, should a change of heart happen in my sister(s), I would welcome them without trepidation. The key here however is change of heart. If someone is stuck in a reality of you that makes it impossible for them to see you beyond it, there is no reconciliation.
These are the strategies and insight I offer to you. If you need more help, I provide relationship coaching as part of my life coaching suite of services and would be happy to be of further assistance.
Same as you would anyone else, just stop interacting with them. If they ask why, let them know what they did, how you feel, and that they need to respect your boundaries. Also be okay with not having these people in your life after those conversations. People tend to become very defensive so prepare yourself to be okay with actually severing the relationships. If you’re not okay with that, then you’ll have to learn to set boundaries, and accept people for who they are, and learn to not let them affect you! Your power lies in your response. Good luck friend! 🐾
its coz GOD made you ,for them, you the great at what you do, and for the toxic everything, talks, undermining, thinking you not perfect, relating with them, you doing most of the things... like food ,snacks and all but latter you find you the one doing the most... it mainly becoz in every home one happens to be the rightful chosen ,for his skills will lighten others to change their moods, discover themselves... thats why you find them irritating, annoying... it becoz one you intimidate them ,and less you make them feel less of themselves as you are more active than???
Removing toxic people from your life, especially if they are family members, can be challenging but necessary for your well-being. Here are some strategies to help navigate this difficult process:
### 1. **Set Boundaries**
- **Clearly Define Limits**: Decide what behaviors you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries firmly and respectfully.
- **Enforce Boundaries**: Stick to your boundaries even if it’s uncomfortable. Consistency is key to maintaining your well-being.
### 2. **Limit Contact**
- **Gradual Reduction**: Start by reducing the amount of time you spend with them.
- **Controlled Interactions**: Meet in neutral, less personal spaces where it’s easier to leave if things become uncomfortable.
### 3. **Seek Support**
- **Talk to Trusted Friends or Therapists**: Getting an outside perspective can help you navigate your feelings and decisions.
- **Support Groups**: Joining a group of people dealing with similar issues can provide community and validation.
### 4. **Practice Self-Care**
- **Prioritize Your Well-Being**: Engage in activities that promote your mental and physical health.
- **Mindfulness and Stress Reduction**: Techniques like meditation and yoga can help you stay centered.
### 5. **Communicate Clearly**
- **Express Your Feelings**: When appropriate, share your feelings honestly with the toxic person. Sometimes they might not be aware of their impact.
- **Use “I” Statements**: Frame your statements around your feelings and experiences to avoid sounding accusatory.
### 6. **Accept Reality**
- **Acknowledge Their Behavior**: Understand that you cannot change them; you can only control your response.
- **Let Go of Guilt**: Realize that it’s okay to prioritize your health and happiness, even if it means distancing from family.
### 7. **Create a Safety Plan**
- **Plan Your Exit Strategy**: If you live with the toxic person, have a plan in place for moving out or finding a safe space.
- **Emergency Contacts**: Have a list of people you can reach out to in case of an emergency.
### 8. **Consider Professional Help**
- **Family Therapy**: If the toxic person is open to it, family therapy might help improve the relationship.
- **Legal Advice**: In extreme cases, such as abuse, seek legal advice for protection and safety.
### 9. **Reflect and Reassess**
- **Continuous Evaluation**: Regularly assess the impact of the relationship on your life and make adjustments as needed.
- **Growth and Healing**: Focus on your personal growth and healing from the effects of the toxic relationship.
Remember, removing toxic people, especially family, is a deeply personal decision and varies for each individual. Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being throughout this process.
We all reach a point where we need to cut ties with someone once loved, often due to their toxicity. Relationships, whether romantic, friendly, or otherwise, should positively impact our lives, but sometimes they don't. Toxic individuals can harm our inner peace and self-esteem, often hiding in our closest circles. Identifying toxic people is crucial for personal growth. These individuals thrive on drama, are self-centered, frequently lie, insist on being right, rarely have kind words for others, possess a mean disposition, and see themselves as perpetual victims. Their behaviors stem from a desire to control and a lack of empathy, often rooted in childhood experiences.
Toxic relationships can be especially challenging when they involve family due to deep-seated loyalty and love. However, personal growth sometimes requires outgrowing these ties. Acceptance is the first step in dealing with toxic people. Understanding that they rarely change helps us move forward. Signs that it's time to walk away include emotional or physical abuse, constant criticism, lying, and emotional neglect. To let go, one should not wait for an apology, accept it's okay to leave, focus on healthy relationships, phase out contact, stop making excuses, let go of fantasies, make final encounters brief, write a letter, set a deadline, and allow oneself to be heartbroken.
Ultimately, pursuing personal growth and self-respect means letting go of those who diminish our light. It is a difficult but essential skill for survival and happiness. Moving on is easier said than done, but it’s necessary to cultivate the change in our lives we need to grow. Accepting your worth will make it easier to walk away from toxic people, but there’s no “one-size-fits-all” solution when it comes to cutting ties with the people that drag us down. Remember, no relationship is worth destroying and diminishing the light that shines within us. Know how to walk away when the time is right.
It is a pity especially when you have toxic people in your family. But you can learn how to protect yourself. Family is a bigger challenge. But the strategies are the same, in the family or at your workplace. You need to keep your energy and not let them suck your energy. You can train that.
Removing toxic people from your life, especially when they're family, is tough but necessary for your well-being. Start by setting clear boundaries and gradually reducing contact to protect yourself from their harmful behavior. Lean on supportive friends or a counselor for guidance, and most importantly, take time for self-care.
Remember, prioritizing your mental and emotional health doesn't mean cutting ties forever; it's about creating space to heal and possibly reconnect IF there's positive change.
As someone without the best family life, I feel like I may be able to help out here. My way of going about dealing with toxic people is to let them know it. Blocking them out of your social cue isn’t going to stop them or help you (at least in my opinion.) I personally tell them face to face what is bothering me and if they keep doing it, I let them know what will happen. I had to tell my own grandmother that if I left her house in bad terms, we wouldn’t speak again. With that being said, I’m about to move out and cut contract. Sometimes it’s easiest to just get it over with. I hope this helps!
Honestly and most importantly, effectively removing toxic people out of your life is difficult. But not if you are doing it correctly.
First scout your problem. Why is this person toxic?
Brainstorm: What is the best way to distance myself?
Put into action: have a plan and make it happen. No looking back and no regrets.
Lastly, if its family you should alert others and make sure you are in the right lane, and if you are making the right choice by removing them out of your life. Then here are the steps you take.
Step one: block on all social media and phone numbers.
Step two: alert family that you are not going to associate with said person anymore.
Step three: keep your foot down. Don't accept a shabby apology and forgive instantly.
Lastly, you can forgive, but never forget what said person put you through with theirs actions, and or words
This is all speaking with experience with cutting off family members. And remember, family is just a title for some people and can be removed very easily.
PUTTING BOUNDARIES! It is a first rule.
It might be hard at first due to resistance from your family side or feom yours but you should stick to that option.
Because once boundaries are set, you are more lucky in getting out for the toxic environment eaisily.
If not, the other person will always requestion attention even if she is toxic to not only to the environment but to your psychological health.
It is simple, you wake up in the morning. your beloved say to you Goodmorning handsome/beautiful here’s your cup of coffee, you will feel safe and happy and your journey will continue in a positive way.
The other option, you wake up, your phone ring. You pick: hello, it is the bank, we are still waiting for your loan payment.=> you will pass a very unhappy and frustrated journey even your performance at work is very low, you are tired, you are thinking about all negativity at a. Certain point you feel headache.
That’s why boundaries are good, we all have ups and downs. But we should put boundaries when it comes to our mental, physical and psychological health
As a simple advice, when you wake up in the morning, firat thing you should do is washing your face, putting your clothes and heading to the office not consulting your phone and then heading to wash your face.
Keep our brains fresh and healthy.
A strategy i used was to distance myself. I cut contact to take care of myself and my mentality. Even when they would ask me why i wouldnt talk to them, i would be straight up and tell them exactly why. One of the most important things is to make sure they know what they did wrong, which helps them realise that they can either let you go, or they can take the steps to change themselves.
