I Will Give You Advice on Love and Also on How to Find a Through Love.
Love is not expecting anything else from a person that they aren’t already giving you. People fall in love for physiological reasons that have nothing to do with love itself—their brain releases a combination of chemicals that trick them into thinking that their new partner is the best thing since pre-made hummus and a package of quinoa chips. This is the “love” that we see in romantic movies: girl meets boy, boy meets girl, they get the tingles for each other, overcome some dim-witted misunderstanding, all’s right with the world again within a period of two weeks, and THE END.
Love is much quieter than that. Love is introspective. Love knows that after the fizzy feelings wear off, if there is a glaring incompatibility, out of compassion, love must let go. It does not bind nor attach. Love wants nothing else than to be in the company of the beloved. It has no agenda, no specific plans to go anywhere in particular; it doesn’t strive to acquire assets, tangible or intangible. Love doesn’t cost a whole lot of money. Or at least, it shouldn’t. It travels very light. But love does want to go. It is a journey where you simply walk together and look at the scenery—even when it’s not so pretty.
There’s an old saying that people get married to “make a better life together”. When they say this, the implication is that what they have isn’t enough already. Love must buy and invest. Houses. Cars. Vacations. Gifts. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. There are conditions. If you have to make a better life than the one you have now—if there is something that you feel is sorely lacking—you might not really love that person. You might be turning love into a profit-based model.
Yes, I have been in love before, many times. But I have loved far less frequently.
